What you can learn from paying attention to the tension in your life

3 ways to reframe agitation

One thing I have noticed is how easy it is to ignore tension. It is far simpler to let a strange comment, a complaint or a twinge of odd behavior pass right by you.

It’s not surprising, given Sigmund Freud’s pleasure principle. He argued that people will go to great lengths to avoid even momentary pain.

But, don’t be so quick to avoid the conflict or write it off as normal. Pain, when reframed, is an opportunity for progress.

As someone who grew up conflict avoidant, I’ve had to retrain how I approach and think about conflict. The tension I experience is typically found in a space of personal vulnerability. A space where I lack confidence and must trust someone or something with my true self.

That’s hard.

It’s like saying, see this open wound I have on my arm. Please poke me here. Now do it again.

Tension is a feeling in your own life and it is an observation in another's. Not to go all psychological with this, but here comes Sigmund Freud again with his work on defense mechanisms or what is more commonly known as “Projection”. Projection is the process of displacing your own experience on someone else…if you spot it, you got it.